You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
