You work out of a Hotel?
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
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