I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
