Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
