Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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