If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Randomize
