Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
