I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
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