So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
This is the prime rib incident all over again
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Randomize
