I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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