How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
