Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
