I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
Randomize