AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
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