God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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