White coat. Heels.
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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