The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
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