worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
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