need another drink. this is the easiest way
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
Randomize
