Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Randomize
