so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
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