The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize