I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
