so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Randomize
