I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Randomize
