I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
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