I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
