she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Randomize
