he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
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