Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
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All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
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