Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
people are starting to question the shark bite story
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
