it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
