Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
