shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
