im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Of course I have a pirate flag
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
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