i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
