Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Randomize
