Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
