so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
My breasts were aching with rage.
you never un-have a 4some
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
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