Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
