I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Randomize
