So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Randomize
