Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
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