HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
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