ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Randomize
