I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
Randomize
