Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Randomize
