guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
I wish there were birth control emojis
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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