This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
