so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Randomize
