Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize