what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
