he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
I deserve this hangover.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
Randomize
