these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
50% drunk capacity currently
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
