my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
