tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
So squirting runs in the family.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
