we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize