You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
Houston, we have a squirter
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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