How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
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