who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
