the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
and you said cock pushups were impossible
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Randomize
