I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
Randomize