Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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