i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Drunk is a universal language darling
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize
