My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
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