I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
