If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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