i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
Randomize
