she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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