he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize
