The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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