I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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