Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
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