Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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