somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
people are starting to question the shark bite story
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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