i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
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