He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Randomize
