they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize
