If i come over, it means nothing
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
